Beauty Come Forth

Yesterday was Church group. I truly DO NOT know what I would do without my weekly church group ♥
The Pastors daughter had a book called "Beauty Come Forth" and had a print out.
Here is the lovely print out 


Spiritual Beauty Tools


Bible
This may sound like an obvious tool, but it is only effective if you use it. Many times people shy away from reading the Bible because of the language used in the KJV (King James Version), which is a challenge to comprehend, but there are many more translations of the Bible that are a much easier read. Acquaint yourself with one that fits your style and personality.


Daily Devotional
A good daily devotional will help you learn scripture and apply its teaching to the cares and concerns of everyday life. Like choosing the right Bible, try on a few devotionals and see which one better ministers to your needs. There are a multitude of Daily Devotionals to be found online or at your favourite bookstore.


Prayer
Make prayer a part of your daily routine. It is easy for life to be crowded by the many demands of your time, but remember, prayer is your time to talk to your creator. It is also the time to let your request be known.  I talk to myself A LOT....to me it makes things seem a lot clearer than they appear and this is my way of praying to the Lord. Bowing my head and praying makes me feel silly in myself and my church said that any way of talking, aloud or in my head, is praying even if its not directly at the Lord as He hears everything.


A Daily Confessions Prayer
Abraham's blessings are mine....
I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.
My territory is being increased and evil shall not befall me
I am the head NOT the tail
It is God who gives ME the power to make wealth
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
I am doing the will of God in my life and I will receive the promise
I am anxious for nothing
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I am more than a conqueror
The plans that God has for me are of good to prosper me
I give bountifully so I reap bountifully
The Lord is the Lover of my Soul, my hiding place, my helper, my keeper, my strength
I believe God for the unseen, unbelievable, inconceivable, impossible!
I am a new creature in Christ
I am doing all things THROUGH Christ Jesus who strengthens me
I am blessed with all spiritual blessings
I am sealed by the Holy Spirit
I am complete in Him
God watches over his word to perform it (accomplish it(!!!
Thank you Lord


Anointed Oil
In the Biblical days (old testament), anointed oil was poured on the head of the person being set aside (anointed) for a certain purpose. In the New Testament, anointed oil was used in connection with healing. Get yourself some olive oil, pray the prayer of healing and use it as such.


I hope that what I share from my church group helps you as it helps us.


Today I have the fire going and its raining. I should be doing the groceries, but I really cant be bothered so Im at home doing this post and eating popcorn with Declan before we go to pick up Andrew from OSCAR.


Much love
xoxoxo

I am worth far more than diamonds

I went to church group last Wednesday and one of my beautiful ladies shared this with an illustration.

She had three groups of jewels and explained each one.

Costume jewellery is the stuff that she lets her grandies play with as it's not worth much to her.
Mild valued jewellery is to share with friends as its nice.
The jewels with sentimental value (and very expensive lol) are the ones in the pretty box away from prying hands.

We are worth more than all of these and we are not to let anyone tell us differently.
God made us who we are and we need to remember He loves us for who we are. This was very helpful to me lately. The piece of paper that was given to me with this on it was in the floor of my car and after spending the morning with another beautiful friend, I remembered that I had it.

I am worth far more than diamonds, rubies and any other stone because the Lord and my friends tell me! Proverbs 31:10

I am off to church group tomorrow, I wonder what it has in store for me this week!

Much love Xoxo

Men truly are better than women....

Not all women though, just most of them. 


Almost 6years ago I got told to join one of those online forum/coffee group things. Apparently they were a close knit friendly bunch. My friend thought she was doing something nice for someone like me with no close friends and no family being pregnant in a new town with a toddler. Boy was she wrong! 
They weren't very accepting of new people into their circle and are exactly like being at school. You know the ones, one rule for them and another for you. I've always lived my life trying to be accepted by these bitches at school and at 27yo I'm still sadly trying to be accepted by women. 
John is right though, women shouldn't be online or text each other. They are catty vultures. 
Yup I'm putting this out on my blog because its where I can say what I like and you can't do anything about it. I'm suck of trying to fit in to your stupid little coffee group and pretending to be who I'm not isn't working and being who I am isn't working either. 


I'm a bloke at heart - say it how it is, that's me. 
I don't waste money on boots, shoes, clothes etc that I don't need. 
I put my husband and kids first and if the budget needs tightening I go without NOT John or the kids.
I don't buy make up, ear rings etc because I can think of better things to spend my husbands money on (him and the kids or a bill). 
I say it how it is because I have common sense and stupid people and stupid things annoy me. 
Yeah I probably shouldn't say half of what I do, but I'm honest and not out to make people happy. 
If I think to ask for advice online, I think "I probably should just do that" because it's not that fucking hard to think for yourself, people older than you have been doing it for years. 
I think really on top of my way if thinking that I've just been around men too long as they are soooo much better than bitchy catty vultures that call themselves women!

30 Day Shred.......

Today is Level ONE, Day TWO.


Man do I HURT!
Although not as bad as yesterday.


I have been meaning to do this for a long time. I got the dvd, read peoples results, saw pictures and now have decided to get my lazy butt into gear for winter. I have SAD which means I have to get up and do something to starve off the winter blues.


There are no pics as of yet, but I will be posting up regular updates.


Today is sore.


I have sore underarms, I still cant do a push up and Im hot sweaty and tired.
If I have to compare to yesterday, I would say Im energised and wanting to go out for a walk! Maybe this is the kick I need.


I have a friend for coffee and the fire going and watching Shorty on MySky thanks to Channel 17, so Im going to love ya and push off.


Much love
xoxoxo

Sunny Monday!

So I need to seriously update my blog. 
So much has gone on in the past.......MONTH? oops


I need to put up pics, do updates and catch up with the blogs I follow......oh and in all that, I need to clean up and get Declan ready for school (ok get ME ready for school).


Here are some pics. 
What we did on Easter Monday :) We talked Grump into taking us to the beach and while we were there, we found a nice little patch of water to play in.

 Grumps and the boys

                               The dog

 Grumps

                                Declan

 Couldn't figure out why there was
water in the hole

                             Andrew

 Andrew

                  Grumps playing with the sand

 Said he was making Liquifaction lol

Mondays parting shot!

Happy Monday and much love

xoxoxo

This has no title......................

Watching a documentary the other day on Tokyo on National Geographic channel, I couldn't help but think about how precious and PC so many people are and about how selfish we have all become.


As I had a nosey on a message board I post in on Sunday morning, I couldn't help but laugh and fight the urge to reach into my iPod and smack some sense into the mothers on there.
These are mostly bored SAHM with nothing to do but cause a stir over NOTHING and spend money they don't have on stuff they dont need so they can be like everyone else doing the same thing. 
There is a movie about that and in the end, a guy commits suicide and leaves his wife with the debt she put him in that SHE did by spending money they didnt have on stuff they didnt need and she had to find a way to pay all that debt back while grieving for her husband.


Anyway, on this doco, people were parading down a main road carrying a HUGE fluro pink penis! They were all yelling "pink co(k" and had their kids with them. They had penis ice blocks and lolly pops etc and letting their kids eat them. They celebrate penises in Japan. Its the fertility etc and the kids all go to the parades with their parents and its ok.
They do log surfing in Japan. Thats where you get a massive log and people stand on it and it slides down a hill. They have heaps of safety people around etc, but it looks pretty fun! They also have a kids amusement park in Japan......kids as young as 3yo go to this place and learn about the value of money and how to earn it. There are no fancy rides, the kids go and learn how to make burgers for McDs and how a vet works and anything else they want to do. They dress up in a uniform or overalls etc and WORK at this amusement park to learn about trades and to help decide what they want to do when they get older.


In New Zealand, this would all be shunted because its un PC and slave labour etc.


Here in NZ, people are worried about turning mundane stupid stuff into something more important.
The Marmite thing is a classic example, there are a group of people who collectively paid over $4000 for Marmite on our website Trade Me. It was a fundraiser, but still its only Marmite people!


We have just been given the old Give Way rules back to get us on the same page as the rest of the world and people are freaking out.


That is what is annoying me at the moment. No wonder people are leaving New Zealand. Its too PC and there are too many rules here.


On an upside, I got Declan into a really good school yesterday and he starts in May and is excited. Im kinda sad that my baby is going to school. Oh and I had a good friend stop in for coffee today. I love seeing all my friends and they mean so much to me.


Have a great day everyone.
Much Love
xoxoxoxo

Marmageddon!

Way back when (November 2011 roughly), there was a grocery item that I needed and there were only teeny little jars of it so I thought that I would wait til the bigger jars came back. 
A few weeks later, I noticed the big jars were still out of commission so went to another store to see if they had them and they didnt.


Fast forward to now and everybody who is anybody is freaking out at the shortage of freaking MARMITE.
What I didnt know what that Marmite is made in Christchurch and the factory had to shut down last November due to Earthquake damage. If we all are patient, the factory will have stock back on the shelves in July 2012.


This is what is on the internet:


Google Marmite Shortage (google)

You have to sign in to see this if you have an account (the message boards)

Craziness in NZ (the auctions on Trade Me)


It has also gone global. I got hit with numerous articles on FaceBook this morning and just had to laugh. 


Small things amuse small minds and make the world go round with laughter.


Much Love
xoxoxoxo

Today is.....

a day for nothing!


Its been a busy few days since my last post........


Last Wednesday I went back to church and there was some ministering and coffee etc.
Thursday....just thursday stuff.
Friday....John came home sick from work, Declan had a dental nurse visit and a hair cut.
Saturday...Nothing much.
Sunday....about the same as Saturday (except I made a fantastic Lamb Casserole)
Monday (yesterday).....Andrew had a TOD and Declan had kindy and John went back to work.


So that was last week lol.


DECLAN HAD THE TOOTH FAIRY!!!!


Yes my baby had a tooth come out and a filling and had a visit from the tooth fairy. I was partially excited and sad at the same time. It was a "first" that I wasnt ready for. As far as we know, he is our last child and I dont want him to grow up at all.

And just for good measure........

I better stoke the fire and get ready to pick up Andrew from after school care.


Much love
xoxoxo

My Child, You may not know me,

I went to church today! Ok, not a proper service, but my church holds a Wednesday coffee group type thing and I went to that.

I woke up and took Andrew to school, Declan to daycare, went to see John and drop some stuff off to him at work and I carried on to the supermarket to the ATM and get our groceries.

I looked at the clock and it was 9.56am and I thought "Oh I possibly couldnt have done my shopping in 30mins and have it all in the car" so I decided to go up to the other supermarket and get my bread and milk etc. 

Somehow I ended up driving right past the shop and further down the road, through the Stop sign and carried on to the other end of town. Before I knew it, I was pulling up in the church carpark and went in to see everyone.

Pastor Raewyn was explaining that this year is different and we have goals etc for our Wednesday group and then said she would read us a letter.

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. 
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. 
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. 
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. 
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. 
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. 
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. 
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book. 
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live. 
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. 
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. 
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. 
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love. 
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father. 
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. 
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. 
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. 
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. 
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. 
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. 
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. 
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. 
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. 
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul. 
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. 
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me. 
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart. 
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. 
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine. 
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles. 
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you. 
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart. 
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes. 
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. 
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. 
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you. 
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you. 
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love. 
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me. 
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child? 
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. 
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

As I sat there listening to Pastor read the letter, I had tears struggling to be released. I struggled to let them do what they wanted (as usual) and in the end I let them flow. I always feel so silly crying at church, but as I keep getting told, it is Gods way of releasing the pain and letting it go free. It is Gods way of talking to us and saying that everything is going to be ok if we just let things happen the way they are meant to.

As I told everyone I was ok, my dear friend Violet said that people who are "fine" dont cry and to let it out and do what God has planned for me. I had so much to let go that I thought I had already let go, but it was still there. Stress, grief, frustration etc. I forgot how much I miss my church family and how important they are to me in my life and how important the Lord is too. 

The lovely Pastor Rik came in for something and my magnet must be strong, because he bee lined his way to me and just like everyone else, his touch on my shoulder just made me cry again and put a sense of calm over me.

I miss my family. I miss having people who care about me in my life. I miss just having people to see and not having to say a word to them. 

Although my things seem so silly to me compared to other people, I know that when I go to church, that my things are important and I need to release them to the Lord and others to help me live the life I should be living.

I hope that someone has read this blog post and taken in what I have said and what the letter means. What I got out of the letter is NOT what you will get out of it. It was written to everyone for everyone and will mean something different to everyone.

Much love,

xoxoxo

Im having a.........

Im having a jealous day today. Kind of.


Just looking through the new pics on FaceBook of my brother and his family at Staglands and Im filled with a wee bit of jealousy. It was Childrens Day yesterday and lots of things were cheap or free to do and Staglands was one of them. I really want to take the boys to Staglands and do all the family stuff that I didnt get to do as a kid. Due to John having to work yesterday, the bad weather and a combination of other things, we didnt get to go to Staglands. 
Im also a wee bit jealous that even though my brother works crazy hours and travels quite a bit for work, that he still manages to find time to spend with his boys kicking a ball around or just lounging on the couch with bikkies watching telly. I would give anything in the world for John to do that here, instead its like a never ending battle that ends badly. Things happen I guess and the last thing you want to do at the end of the day is muck around outside in the yard..........


John said to me last month that he has put on some weight (and he doesnt look very happy about it) and that he was going to try and get to the gym and walk the dog. He has walked the dog once lol. How do I get my sad looking man to get up and do something?


I think Im just having one of those days. Where all the little things pile up and eat at you and wear you down.


Dont get me wrong, I love John and the kids. I love what we all have and I appreciate what John does for us every day, but I would love it more if things were more like other people. 
If only things were the way I would like them to be without fighting etc to get there.


On a positive note, today is fantastic! Very still and sunny, did my walk with Tammy and went to lunch with John. I want to apply for a job at the local supermarket, but Ive been threatened with Divorce Papers.......what to dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


I need to hang out some washing and try and finish the lawn so on that, I will leave you all.


Much Love,
xoxoxoxoxo

I am a Slacker Mom...........

Trawling my FaceBook status updates just now while eating a very late breakfast, I stumbled (ok it was RIGHT there!) on The Scary Mommy FaceBook and her update was fantastic. It was just a synopsis of a blog post a slacker mommy and proud and Im glad that she posts what most of us are thinking or what we are doing but never say because of other moms/mums.


Im a slacker mum here too.


I dont do playdates either.
If your kid wants to play with my kid, then come to my house and they can run loose in the yard and do what kids do. Pack an extra change of clothes, because if they get dirty (which they will), then I can change your precious before you pick him up. Oh and I dont do the whole feed them a platter crap. I do the "feed them when they are hungry" and its most likely a packet of chips and a piece of fruit.


I dont do parties either
I spent years on worrying about trying to keep up with everyone else that I spent way too much money, sent out the invites and waited for the RSVPs to come (which they didn't).
On the day, I made TWO freaking cakes, cleaned my house, laid out the food and drinks, decorated the house and only TWO other kids turned up! This happened every year. So this year, we are forgoing the party and going somewhere totally different for a low key, cheap play with family. I will just make TWO cakes like always and send them to daycare and after school care for the kids. Ya know what, I probably will forget the cakes or just get cbf syndrome and wont make the damn things lol


Other slacker mum things I do:
I dont do the parent help at school
I dont always bake for my kids cos really I cbf or I just plain dont want to
I dont keep up with other parents and other kids when it comes to toys etc because my parents didnt and even though I want my kids to be the "best", John tells me I wont teach them anything by giving them stuff all the time.
I dont keep a prestine house. If you wanna come in and sit down, chuck mt washmore in a basket (which is next to the couch) and sit down.


I also dont agree with a lot of things other mothers do.
Parenting used to be so easy. You got pregnant, gave birth and raised the kid best you could with what you had and you made do.
Now parenting is a constant competition. In fact, everything is a competition.
Its goes a little something like this:


First to get pregnant
First to get a scan (which is NOT fucking needed unless your high risk etc otherwise your wasting time and money and resources so you can brag to other mummies)
First to feel a kick etc
First to go into labour (in all of this, your constantly posting dumb questions on the internet to other mums that you should be asking your Midwife/Obgyn/dr etc)
First to crawl/walk/climb/talk etc
Then there is the accessories.


You HAVE to have:
Capsule
Latest pram and have enough money to upgrade said pram to next best pram
Latest reversable/forward facing carseat (that goes into a booster) and have enough money for next best seat on market.
High chair
bassinet
cot
single bed
toys
rocker
swing
bouncernette
breast pump (because breast is best and formula wont cut it)
latest cell phone with camera
24/7 access to internet so you can stay in touch with other mums just like you (or the ones your trying to keep up with)


Then the list gets longer as the kid gets older


This all used to get me down when I found the internet. Back in ancient times (I mean 2003/2004) we had whatever was cheap and the best at the time. So we had a pram, cot, carseat, clothes etc and that was it. You almost need a second house for all the other crap people buy. Polly on ZM said the other day that the average first time parent buys over $2800 worth of STUFF before the mother gives birth. I would hate to see the size of their credit card bill (and how many credit cards do they have?)


Anyway, this is all food for thought today care of Scary Mommy. Dont forget to check her FB and her webpage. She is the Real mother (like me lol) and shows what parenting used to be like and how its changed etc. She is NOT afraid of the clucking internet bitches that put people down.


Much love
xoxoxox

I cant sleep at night

I always seem to have so much on my mind that only seems to come out when Im tired as a dog and trying to sleep :(


The thing that was taking over my mind last night was my wee angel baby. This is kinda graphic (tampons etc lol)


I had a Miscarriage at 4wks pregnant the weekend before christmas 2011.


I thought that I would be ok with it. Not be one of those mums who talk about it all the time and moved on and accepted it. I spent the first 2wks afterwards feeling so relaxed and happy and saying that I was ok and it was Gods work and I wasnt ready for another baby because God had other plans for me (getting a job, working on myself, working on my house etc) so I was doing ok. Well thats what I thought until New Year arrived and no I clearly was NOT doing ok. The hormones suddenly dropped (just like after you have a baby) and I got really down because my GP did NOT do what she should have done (or what I thought she should have done at the time).


I tend to ramble a bit and go off tangent, but Im going to try my best to rehash it all. Will probably do me the world of good :)


Something that is part of my life now seems so silly to what other people go through time after time.


I had two very very very faint positive pregnancy tests done the week before my period was due. They were so damn faint I had to ask 3 different people to tell me what they could see and I took pictures lol. I couldnt believe my luck even though I wanted another baby so badly and thought I was seeing things.


I had the nausea, the tender boobs, the cramping etc that all pointed to a baby. I mean, I had had all that twice before so I didnt need a silly pee test to tell me what I already knew (and with my hormones, I had to wait at least another 4wks to get that dark line I was waiting for).
The night I started to bleed, I was cooking dinner and I was overcome with this awful cramping and back ache and knew that something wasnt right and I had the urge to go to the toilet. Just as well cause it was a bloody mess! No pun intended hahaha
So I cleaned myself up and went and had dinner and carried on. The pain had gone, the pregnancy symptoms were fading fast and there wasnt much I could do on a weekend night so I watched telly and went to bed and just did what I normally did.
The next day was Sunday and there was another mess to clean up and it was awful. The nice hot shower was great (although apparently it should be lukewarm or something) and I put in a tampon (I didnt know that was a no no and I was flooding out pads within 30mins) and we all got in the car and went for a drive to Johns parents place in Foxton (its about 1hr 30mins from home). 
I truly did NOT think about going to a dr. I really did think that I was ok and there was nothing to worry about.


I had flooded out my pad within 30mins of leaving home and there were clots etc and thats when my worry radar started to go off, but hey I was away from home and what could I do? It was a family day out with John and the kids.


Monday was probably the worst part. I succumbed to a friends worried text message and went to the dr. The nurse looked worried and said there wasnt anything they could do if it was a MC and that I could see the dr if I wanted to.
The dr made me to the pee test and of course nothing showed up so she said, "your not pregnant because the pee test said so, go home and try to rest" 
I tried to go for a blood test (thanks to my friend Trishy) and got "you dont need one" so I went home with no answers and feeling belated that I should have tried more.
I bled for a grand total of 5 nights and 4 days. It was not a Miscarriage like what you hear about from friends or what you read on the internet or in books. It only hurt for a little while and then I just bled. There was no cramping etc all the way through like when you have your period, it was just a pain free bleed with lots of mess and was very horrible. I didnt feel sad (like I thought I would), I felt relaxed and anxious and happy all at the same time. Because I didnt feel the way I thought I *should* I didnt listen to my friends and didnt get what I wanted from the dr and that PISSED ME OFF. I let myself down.


At Christmas, I became the bitch from christmas past. I had no tree, no stockings for the kids and only one present for each of them that I couldnt even be bothered to wrap and give them. I didnt have the big family christmas on the movies and I had lost my baby.
At New Years, I had a huge hormone thing happen and all I wanted was to have my MC accepted and acknowledged by family and the dr, but that didnt happen. Johns family didnt think that adding to our family would be a good idea, so I had to lie and just say it was a really heavy period etc and that I was ok blah blah blah when all I wanted to do was yell and scream and make people listen to me.


Its February now. I still want to talk about it. I want to do something to acknowledge that for that little time, I was going to be a mum again (it was unplanned).


About 3wks ago, a friend of mine came up to me and said she was pregnant again and was thinking of an abortion. It would be her 3rd abortion and I didnt know what to do. She later MC her baby too and I went to all the dr appts with her and her scan and texted her and talked to her and was there for her like I wanted people to do with me. I didnt get dr appts or a scan or even a friend to hug me when I wanted to cry. My friend and I were due on the same day and MC 3-4wks apart.


She is my one true friend IRL and I dont even think she knows how I was feeling or how Im doing now, she just knows that when her friends werent there for her, I was. I was there for her so she wasnt alone like I was and because I love her to pieces.


Now, I just dont know where I fit or where to go or who to talk to. I prayed to the Lord last night for the first time in a LONG time. 


The one problem I have is how to end my post lol. Im wiping away the tears and watching Ben 10 Ultimate Alien and alone and have no idea what Im going to do with the rest of my day. 


Much love to you all
xoxoxoxo

Zumba Thursday!

Happy Thursday everyone!

Im on Johns laptop and it has a shifty "enter" key so bear with me if there are typos :)

I woke up a wee bit late today (I dont think Im sleeping very well as I wake up really tired and have a dry mouth etc but I wont bore you), got the boys up and fed etc and pushed them out the door just in time to get Andrew to school. I thought after I dropped Declan at daycare, that it might be a good idea to wake myself up with the weekly beginners Zumba class at the gym. BOY was I wrong!

I was VERY uncoordinated today and couldn't manage to sort my feet into what they were MEANT to be doing because my arms and brain were telling me something very different to what the instructor was doing lol.

I must of done a pretty good job today despite wanting to crawl into bed and sleep because I worked up a mega sweat and felt a wee bit better! :)

As Im writing this post, we are waiting for John to get home from a late night at work. I have Declan next to me on the couch playing on my iPod (all I can here is "touch the A") and Andrew is taking over my massive telly with some gaming site he got off my friends 16yo son (yeah thanks heaps). I think its a pretty good site.... its www.friv.com and it has heaps of games on it that Andrew plays. The kids seem to be doing really well with the influx of gaming in the past week. They still go outside and play with cars and dig in the dirt etc, but with the gaming I let them do now (which BTW I was so totally against doing), they play really well together when they are playing with toys etc.

I dont know if I posted this before, but I made BLUEBERRY muffins the other week! Blueberries were 2 for $6 at Countdown so I grabbed some and made muffins lol. They were very good and I only made 6 as I put the mix in my Texas pan, but I have some more in the fridge so will have to make more and share the recipe and a photo (or 100).

Im about to start going off on a tangent as Im pretty knackered so will leave you with the thought of my muffins

Much Love
xoxox

Its FEBRUARY!!!!!!

Just a pic post today. Have way too much to post so will be aiming for daily blogs this week :)

Declan on the new electric train in Wellington

Standing outside the train in Upper Hutt

Waiting for the Diesel train home to Wairarapa

When Johns brother brought his daughter and Lori over 

My niece Tara Jade!

Well Im off to waste some time playing games on FaceBook and attempt to do some housework. 

Much Love

xoxoxox

Ode to my wonderful husband!

This post is dedicated to my wonderful husband!


I do not take enough time out in my day to truly tell John how much I love and appreciate him.
He does an awesome thing everyday by getting up super early and going to work until way past dinner time on most days. Most days he works in the workshop in town (which is great cos we have lunch together) and other times he travels for HOURS to get where he needs to be to fix things that are broken to keep people working (logging, forestry, earth moving people etc) and he just does it because he loves it and because he HAS to.


He took us (me and the two boys) out to where he spent most of last week working because he left a spanner out there and needed to finish a job and purely because it beat sitting inside all day eating each other. It was a FOUR hour return trip to site for a good 20min job and he did it without complaining about it. Was a good way to waste a day!


Here are some pics of what he works on:

This is soooo much bigger than the pic lets on lol

Thats Johns little wee work truck on the left lol

The boys sitting and watching Daddy working
Declan is the brown haired and Andrew is the blonde!

Some of the logs that need cutting for the stack 

Oh and I have more pics, but will wait til tomorrow so I don't over load you with my boys hehehe

Happy New Year!

Well I have HEAPS to update and not enough time hehe

Its been a testing 2wks with holidays. The kids go back to OSCAR and Daycare next week and neither of us can wait!
John is already back at work, only being able to take the stat days off.

Have my brother, his wife and their two boys coming for a late lunch/early dinner tonight so I SHOULD be cleaning up. Meh plenty of time :D
Tonights menu is

vikkis signature pasta dish :D with homemade garlic bread and tomato, red onion, cucumber salad

After a testing week by the kids and me, they seem to be doing really well today. They just found a snail and have called him FRED. Hes in the grass being guarded by the boys so he doesnt run away.

Fred

guarding the snail

Its ON BABY!

Wow Im getting pretty slack at all this since we came back from Auckland. Dont hate me mwahahahaha

Have been watching some How I Met Your Mother. John was sceptical at first and now asks for it every night :D

Right, some pics and then a decent update :D

This is Declan at his kindy xmas party last week.
Hes a little Maori boy and doesnt he play his roots well!

Declan and the kids singing

Andrew getting his present from Santa

Right now Im.........

Watching the Racheal Ray Show
Playing the kids Gourmet Ranch on FB
Mucking around with my Blog Template
Checking out a couple of Forums and Message Boards
Thinking about cleaning up a wee bit
Checking out blogs
Thinking I *should* do a proper catch up blog post, but there has been too much for me to put in ONE post lol
Loving the desktop that I got from http://mummaandthekiddo.blogspot.com/
Mucking around with a few sites from Blog above

The end of the week!

The end of the week is here!
Everyone is making a big fuss about the way the date is (because it will never ever happen again) and making a big fuss about christmas/rent/mortgages etc.

Im almost ready to go to Auckland next week for hubbys Cardiac thing. Its an ELECTROPHYSIOLOGY RADIO FREQUENCY ABLATION. I havent googled it. I dont want to freak myself out any more than I already am. On the outside I am fine, but inside Im a bundle of nerves. My hubby has a heart problem where they think that he has an extra nerve at the bottom of his heart and when its exposed and under stress it causes a second heart beat and also Tachycardia. Not very nice and hes had two attacks so far (that caused him to go to hospital) and no one knows what it is or what brings it on. It just comes and goes.

Anyhooooo moving on. I went to check KMB and I have made the "just added" list! http://www.kiwimummyblogs.co.nz/just-added/ YAY me!

Um not much else to "report" today for the week as Im not feeling to well, I have bloods on monday and the weather is NOT the best here. Will try and have a better night Blah Blah Blah

Much love to you all
XOXOXOX

Ooh just a quick picture add.

Have a GREAT weekend