oooooooooooo oooooooo

Ok, so not a very good blog title....but come onnnnnn!

Today has been crap. Utter farking crap! And if I can't post it here and be real, then where can it go?
John was home from Saturday before Christmas until Thursday after Christmas and then again this Saturday for New Years and goes back to work tomorrow. I hate all the hours he works, I hate all the days he works, I hate when he is home and his phone rings! What I hate the most....is when he IS home and he is a complete and utter DICKHEAD!

He mooches around like he owns the place (ok, he does)
He makes a mess (cos he can)
He grumbles from the minute he gets up til the minute he goes to sleep at night (and we try to avoid him)

Hes just a DICK!

I decided last year that I am sick of being his lap dog. I know its my job and all, but Im sick of running to him. Im sick of making everything all about him. Im sick of making him a coffee and not getting one in return. Im sick of rolling him a damn smoke and not getting one from him. Im sick of putting him first and him not caring about anything except his damn dinner, lunch, smoke, coffee or V.

Im SICK of doing it.

I want this year to be about me....because lets face it, the past 10years (well 28years) have been all about John and the kids (and family and others).

So, its going to be hard, but NO means farking NO!

Im going to buy that bra I need, see that movie in the movie theatre I want to see, and read that book I wanna read. If I had a job, I wouldn't be anyones little lap dog anyway!

Yup, Im fully going to regret this post in the morning, but man it feels good to offload somewhere!

Much Love
xoxo