Wednesday, August 22, 2012

John is away......

John went away for TWO weeks on Sunday 12 August.

I *should* of done a post on my first day as a "solo" parent, but I didnt really think about it.

The first day went ok until bed time rolled around and I realised that John was NOT coming home from work so I went to sleep in an empty bed for the first time in a few months. Ok, hes been away before (3 nights to Auckland for work or a few nights in hospital....) I should of just got on with it.
The first nights were good. I got the kids into a routine and we were eating junk for dinner (American Hotdogs, chicken burgers, hell pizza lol). Then Andrew woke up with his attitude and the past week has been a nightmare.

Last Thursday I did my groceries and got home and it hit me like a hammer. I was home in an empty house (until I got the kids) and I had no one. I spend my days texting John and having lunch with him and then he comes home from work and we watch telly and go to bed. This was more than 3 nights away. This was HORRIBLE. I cried!

Friday wasn't too bad. Declan decided to go to Johns nanas house for a sleep over and it was just Andrew and me. I spent the WHOLE night texting anybody who would text back and Facebooking anyone who would Facebook me back too. Johns brother wouldnt come over and watch telly with me and Johns friends were busy... it made me realise that although I have "friends", I have no one to call on when I am lonely and need someone. Everyone seems to be busy with their lives and too busy to let little old me in for a 5min chat. People also DO NOT visit anyone anymore either. Its all "sit at home and wait for someone to come to you".

Saturday I went to pick up Declan and he decided that he didnt want to come home. No amount of texting my BIL would make him come over and I even bribed him with petrol money to get home!

Sunday, Andrew and I had chocolate cheesecake for breakfast and blobbed out in front of the fire watching telly before picking Declan up (because lets face it, he had school the next day).
After I fed them, bathed them and put them to bed, I had another pity party and cried again. I MISSED JOHN.

Monday, Declan stayed home from school and we had telly lol. We also visited my best friend who is sick and just did nothing really. I attempted to mow the lawn, but ran out of petrol! And then it rained!

It is now Wednesday and even though I know John is home on Saturday, I miss him more with every day that passes. He is now on night shift (started last sunday) so instead of calling every night, he calls every afternoon. The nights are really long and Ive been playing Facebook games.

Even though I parent the kids by myself, this has been different and I do take my hat off to the actual solo parents out there that have to do this alone every day.

Im off to clean my house (who am I kidding?).

Much love
xoxoxo

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